I like to travel, read, write, dance and pretend. At the moment I am suffering an insufferable phase of self-aggrandizement, premature maturity and lack of wit.
If you think you can help me out of this funk, write me at idaman.z@gmail.com
It was a dark and stormy night. God had abandoned the world, but the Devil, seeing potential in the real estate, decided to stay on and invest time and effort into the land. He set up a meeting with the Old Guy, hellbent on getting Him to stay as well.
The Devil sat in a corner of the room, smoking a cigarette that smelled suspiciously like burning flesh, and watched languidly as God cursed Jibril, Jesus and Mohammad at the poker table.
“Will you stop letting me win already?! Damn it to hell, I command you to play the fucking game like fucking gentlemen!”
Jibril glanced at Mohammad, who busied himself with arranging his cards.
“Sorry, boss. It’s a habit.”
“Yeah, boss, sorry,” piped Jesus in a fluting voice.
The Devil stood up.
“Man, why you gotta do that? You made them that way.”
God wiped away some snot. “I gave them free will didn’t I? I thought I gave them balls, too, but apparently these bastards must have missed that particular part of creation.”
“Not Jibril you didn’t.”
“Shut up, you fuck,” snapped the Angel, his eyes blazing with what one would mistake as holy fervor.
“I didn’t come here to dick around, Old Man.”
“Hmm.” God seemed intent on ignoring his adversary.
The Devil continued. He knew God was listening.
“Stay on with the world. You can’t just leave the whole thing to me.”
“Why not. You seem to be doing very well.”
“It’s no fun without you around. It gets too easy.”
God scratched at his beard. He sighed.
“We’ve been through this already. I am done with that thing. Operational costs are getting too high.”
“You know that’s a bullcrap excuse.”
“I can do whatever I want.”
“Precisely.”
“What the hell do you want from me?”
“Play the game again.”
“No.”
“Please, with blessed souls on top.”
“Humans are ugly, stupid and ungrateful. I should never have made them.”
And then I stopped because they all began to sound like Al Pacino and Bobby de Niro and I couldn’t figure out why in hell God would want to get involved. Also, I hated that they were all male. The end.
